L@vendar’s P@radise

ermm…let me see…gosh im been sitting at home 4 de past 5 months …broke d…so got 2 make my final decision…after all learn quite alot drg de interview for de past few months…some quite interesting,some very serious, some realli successful GM n manager ,some friendly, got 1 lagi keng like fortune teller…can even noe about my attitude tat i dont reali take note about it….some tok eng,some mandarin, some even hokkien…haiz got 1 even dont noe wat is vacancy…." got 2 crack my english from vacancy to job…still dont understand untill i finally ask…"you kong jor ma?"(in cn which mean got any vacancy here)oh shit….dey noe simply "interview"

back 2 interview….ermm…gone for

3 interview in Gurney Hotel as sales coordinator

2 interview in Equatorial Hotel as Banquet n conventional exec

2 times in crystal brides as wedding consultant

4 times in other bridal hs

1 time in topshop as retail coordinator

finally 1 time (wif 3 interviewer accordingly) in pen apparel..as instructor…i take de job easily without 1day of corsideration even…mayb i wanted 2 learn more about de operation line in a factory…even de salary n working hours not tat bad eventually… you cant even imagine so much interview i been n keep on rejecting de other HR manager…bt it something good 2 learn about de ppl experience n more drg de interaction wif de interviewer…dey r capable ppl

quite tension n responsible 4 dis job itself bt yet looking forward for it…start work d on sept…so left dis few day 2 play…n play…haiz…xien back hometown even chewis not in pg…..hope dis job can help me earn a little more so tat i can take up a degree course wif my own ability….anyway hope i can apply oso ….

sis call me from pj telling me

dis is want happen wen my cousin looking for evening dress in sophia bridal hs in pj,she saw the purple chiffon evening dress. it happen to be the one i design n make the gathers all myself,the 4th outfit tat cant manage 2 sew up in time 4 de glamour bash fashion show. however reali have alot of comment on it bt de only outfit wen ben saw n praise "tat’s a designer wear" 

my cousin love it so much wen i give her see the pic n de illustration…and it happen to b so coincident tat she saw the actual piece in kl. she wore it n fits her nicely..sis said she reali look like a princess in it even the sparkling diamond shine under de spot light.how i wish im there to see my own design is to be worn out so perfectly.

according to my sis that dey hav replace my small little ribbon into a fully diamond broach.however im hapi tat de bridal hs willing 2 take my design..although de brand is keith kee…

parent love, siblings love, God love, partner love…

for partner love

a single kiss will make u feel comfort

hugging wif both arms tight make u feel secure

a call make you think he miss u alot..( bt v seldom chat alot…so sad)

a trip to make you feel in love again in new environment ( so tat’s y got honeymoon la…my own opinion)both ppl onli not more…(bt som1 thinks is fun to have more fren around…depend on where is de location oso

holding hand makes you feel in relation

a sentence of " i love you" "i miss you" " i care for you" means alot alot n alot….sometime is oso juz a practice which dont delieve any meaning…

partner love somethings its make you hapi n make you sad bt still ppl wanna in love to experience de happiness n sweetness in it so do i….

mood so bad recently,small little ting (mayb is a very big thing to me) i will gt my nerves up to the hottest level, make me heart aches n sour, tears collected around my eyeballs….life is so grey and complicated dis few days…mind keep on thinking n thinking about it…y is dis happen to me..yet things i wan it to be happen it never happen.mayb i need 2 make it happen alone instead…alone sometimes is even better.no wasting time, no waiting,no hurry, no need discusstion…its everything under control by my own.. tats it de only thing is to be aloney.. bt somethings i love to be alone oso wen nobody at home…can do wat ever tings i wan…listen to songs loudly nobody care

sometimes felt like a jerk smiling to some1 i dont reali noe,like n idoit standing there for minutes n minutes to pass by while waiting for some chit chat.. am i not frenly instead?? not socialable?? sometimes its depent to wat kind of ppl….or i care too much about …tat i din reali chat much wif my fren wen i meet them bt in return …didnt care much about me instead…

life is so miserable tat i dont even noe whether wat i wan wen is ask…juz a simple sun make up mood so dull…or it al start from the beginning tat i din notice it bt onli recently…

sometime i reali felt tired wif dis feeling…worry, angry,unsatified,unhappy,waiting, pretending,and something even suspect….reali no confident in myself-in study, in work, n oso in love…

i shouldnt hav write dis blog neither bt i juz dont wan it to be written in my dear diary since it a book tat record my happiness…juz wanna slip all my unwillingness so juz throw a blog here instead.

i think i need to find a job where alots of fren around…sometime fren is even better…

reali dont like dont like bt i cant do anything unless i end it

dis drama reali make me felt i n love again…gosh reali gt crazy very hapi moment between hang kyul n enchan..gong yoo is awesome in tat drama…cool yet has a friendly n cheerful face which make his fans of dis drama got attracted..

long time din watch korean drama since winter sonata…dis drama was recomanded by my collegue…actually not 2 say recommanded…is juz everytime dey will chat about it during working…bt at first i ignore…den there’s a time i switch on tat channel yet got attracted on tat part wif tat hang kyul telling enchan tat he love her more than she does through the phone…it makes me got de initiative 2 chase on de drama till i borrow de dvd to watch it from the start…haiz…got 2 return it in de end…yet i brought de other copy which de chinese voice over much more different den de one showing in TV…haiz…so bad!!

haiz…after chasing for wu chun( not reali la) now change 2 gong yoo…old enough 4 me to crazy over idol again…

yet 4 now gila gila abit wif korean stuff

tat day got salary wen 2 eat korean food near my working place…taste abit weird bt not bad n de service is damn good..the owner of de shop is a korean man so v did de order using eg…pretty nice de owner…wen he knew im not feeling well he gave me a packet of medicine n open de packet 4 me to take it…it’ s  korean medicine using korean herbs…cant even read de words written…haha…is foc yet got another pack instead…yuhoo…did i feel better taking it…erm abit i cant say haha… for now curious about de korean language…its seems 2 be funny n de words like almost de same…

LIFE….i dun wan my life 2 be lidat…not lidat…i wan further more……mayb dis is a starting point…a sharp hard starting point 2 polish my knowledge n attitude..dis is reali tough 4 me…every morning juz dun wanna face it…luckily i relax alot after exhibition at least it worth it while i work now….

beading…hate beading alot yet now hav 2 do alot oso…headache lidat during my final year…oh my god..back 2 square 1…wen can i start 2 design n be de director there…??i wander hope i can still survive until tat day…times flies but sometime can even stand a second if tat very moment….tat lousy sewing machine which seems can b keep in de musuem make tat stupid noise sound…( how come no 1 complain about it? i wander?)…tat aunty sit beside me wan tok so loudly…sometimes make joke of herself n laugh like nobody business…( oh my God…abit sampat d dis lady…not is reali )…song…keep on replay chinese oldies…not reali old la…juz not suitable 4 me i think….haiz…wen dis al come 2gether at de same time…i reali wanna scream out i wanna quit n juz walk off….bt i cant…i need de pay…i need money…

promise myself will give myself a good working environment for myself in future…do less earn more…so i need is knowledge…

wen gt de first salary will sure go 4 a full body message n spa 2 pamper my body n soul…abo reali can gt mad…

now….reali hope tat my hs got a OSIM massage chair…bt none…2 bad…

routine…wake up early…torture myself….slp early 2 wake up early…night mare..

::(

20 b’day…think will in pg …after study…still no vacation..some oledi go d…3 work,1 study,2 jobless…wanna go somewhere bt…no$$…haiz…nvmla…work first la….haha since 20th bday coming d….alot of stuff me plan 2 buy lolzzz….

1) SONY ERICSON Z610i…rose pink

2) SHU UEMURA curler

3) BOBBI BROWN black eyeliner wif brush

4) LCD screen

5) optical mouse

6) a car..dream car…pink jazz….mini cooper oso can…( wait i earn alot first)

haiz…2day keep on tersesak jalan…..on my way 2 USM…in USM….on my way to prangin…dis is wat happen wen i dont remember the journey…explore pg again…luckily gt USM on time abo reali waste petrol…gosh….USM so huge …make me wanna study in there…somehow….is still in malaysia…not like wat i see in loh wei’s frenster pic…which his uni in UK….fresh green grass,tall huge builing n oso lavender….

however,still need 2 do something 4 my future…life needs money everyday…so hav 2 learn something to give me a better living…….

mom very surport me 2 take up degree….bt 3 years….come out oledi….24 years old d…old liao…..

hey…last time i said wanna open alot of shop wan….jeric reminds me…florist shop,bakery shop,small little cafe like winter warmer,gift wrapper shop like long summer… cheaper yet more creative design den long summer,or …even a small cafe wif a boutique selling my own design clothes….and maybe would named it ETERNITY…..

as 4 now faster complete de duty…n find work d..or else i’b very lazy addicted bt the download TW idol drama….

oh ya…2day onli realize tat fahrenheit come 2 KL…gosh i dont even noe b4 tat…haiz…wat a wu chun’s fan…hope tat romantic princess faster release le….juz watch first episod nia…

going graduate soon d…where am i surpose 2 be?chewis will be heading UK for degree d…wat about me?take another course tat more 2 study n earn more for a better living n better job?..hello wasted 2 and half year yet onli realize not reali wat i wan…den y i insist of taking it in de first place…mayb the thing i cant get yet i make it happen.GOd help me!!

ppl asking wat i wanna be den after graduate…work…ya work..where? how much dey will hired me?question?….mom ask me whether i regret anot after al my high skool fren wen in uni…i wont coz de moment i stand on de stage b4 de audience…i glad wif wat im as some of them wont experience it either…however, tok i dont need 2 memorize formulaas i was in mh high skool….kimia and fizik formula reali turn my head of…bt den pattern cutting still need 2 memorize de formula…gosh!!…so i hate tat subject n i score bad oso…about is oledi history…nothing is easy…ya….

still hav a month more 2 prepare my stuff for de exhibition d…no dummy..how?haiz..some adjustment need 2 be done b4 photo shootinf…oh ya…a few model in my mind…not confirm wihich wan is suitable yet can help me …

oh ya…fren will come yet will go one day…hope tat one day we stil have time to hang around in red box ya…waiting for chewiz n loh wei come back from UK…mayb their english is better den me den…haha…as my english oso half half la…chinese no good….hokkien beh ki abit…so i oso dont noe wat language im good at…haha malay kot…

im glad i found my soul mate…bt sometime make me kek ki nia…i alwiz tell mom if i go in F6 mayb de other half of my partner is very hardworking wearing thick specs reading book everyday…nude nude wan…wahaha…wat a joke!

dont noe wat happen wif me…yish…very easy 2 be unhapi…gosh…someting small small happen can make my mood down de hill…yish…y is lidat?geram nia…someting seems 2 be wrong wrong wrong…..erggggggggg………………

sick of it nia….dont care 2 much n take it easy as dey r not care oso…..@@@@@@@……hate hate…hate….if anyway wan make me angry 2moro ….think she will be unlucky den….and 2moro is de selection day again….fri